Last weekend I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends about her current situation. She is dating this new guy and having all sorts of crazy feelings about what he wants. So, I decided to share a few stories from my days of serial dating to calm her down (back in 2016).
Here are a few outrageously weird and funny things I've heard from guys:
I just started paying my bills on time. Dating me is like dating an intern. (me: confused)
If you're not witty and funny this will never work (this is important a real deal breaker huh!)
How do you look outside of your model pics? (flattering but I'm not a model and I look like myself)
When can I come over? No seriously when can I come over? I want to see how you decorate. (first conversation!)
Well, my wife and I still live together. Me: wth? We are thinking about separating but it's complicated. Me: Ok Bye!
Phone call number 2: let me come over and feed you some fruit. (me: heck no and I know the game)
I was pistol whipped. (me: Weird silence)
Hey, I got you some weight loss products. I heard they work well!
My kids help me setup my wife, so I could catch her cheating. Do you want to see the text messages? (me: LMAO on the inside…this fool is crazy = check please!)
You're my girl (after two seconds, calm down and get out the bushes I like a man that knows he wants but ugh) No, seriously you're my girl! I’ve been stalking you girl!
My advice to her was why are you unsure of a guy who is genuinely interested in knowing more about you and spending time. Why are you freaking out about sharing spaces? When that's not the conversation. This was the same conversation a close friend had with me a few years ago.
What I've learned is don't block your blessings! Go with the flow and don't worry about what others have to say. Stop worrying about what if? Deal with the right now.
You could be someone’s” girl” after two seconds instead of someone's woman!
I’m so glad those days are over.
Do you have any dating horror or funny stories to share?